


Didn't I My Dear Part Deux

by CommanderHeartThrob



Series: The 100 One Shots [9]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Bad Pick-Up Lines, Drunk Clarke, F/F, Fluff, POV Third Person, Pick-Up Lines
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-05
Updated: 2015-07-05
Packaged: 2018-04-07 19:17:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4274913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CommanderHeartThrob/pseuds/CommanderHeartThrob
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The sequel to "Didn't I My Dear"</p><p>You guys wanted more, so here they are.... even shittier pickup lines! What am I doing with my life? Apparently writing about Lexa attempting to use the shittiest pickup lines ever. References to "Princess Did What?" and "There Was Just Something About Those Trees" by Jayenator565.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Didn't I My Dear Part Deux

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Didn't I My Dear](https://archiveofourown.org/works/4037692) by [CommanderHeartThrob](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CommanderHeartThrob/pseuds/CommanderHeartThrob). 
  * Inspired by [Princess Did What?](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3792829) by [Jayenator565](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jayenator565/pseuds/Jayenator565). 
  * Inspired by [There Was Just Something About Those Trees](https://archiveofourown.org/works/4220049) by [Jayenator565](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jayenator565/pseuds/Jayenator565). 



> Alternate title: That one where Lexa thought she was being smooth but was really just making a fool of herself.

“Clarke?” Lexa called out, entering their shared tent.

“Yes, Commander?” Clarke replied, emerging from the small room that contained their bedroom.

“There is a party in my pants and you’re invited.” Lexa’s cheeky grin was once again plastered to her face as she looked at her lover in triumph.

“Not happening, sorry hun,” Clarke replied, rolling her eyes before pushing past her and throwing herself down onto the throne, letting out an exasperated sigh as she landed on the cold wood.

“What is this hun and why do you keep calling me this word?” Lexa asked, confused, as she looked up at the small blonde that was in her seat. “And why do you always get to sit in my throne?”

“Hun is a term of endearment, Lexa. And I’m sitting in your throne because the only other place to sleep is on the furs in our bedroom.

“Oh, okay, Skaiprisa,” Lexa replied, turning to take a look at the map that lay on the table before her. When Clarke knew she could no longer see her, she rolled her eyes and let out another, smaller, sigh.

 

* * *

 

“Clarke, I seem to have lost my undergarments,” Lexa called out as they exited the lake, purposefully pushing them to the side, behind a large rock that lay before the lake.

“And what do you suppose I do about that, Commander?” Clarke asked, dressing herself.

“Since I have lost mine, may I see yours?” Lexa asked, a devilish grin creeping onto her face.

“Lexa, you do realize that I am literally naked standing in front of you, correct?” Clarke asked, staring at Lexa as if she had three heads.

“Yes, Skaiprisa. What was the point of that question?” Lexa asked, confused.

“The point was YOU CAN’T SEE MY UNDERWEAR IF I’M NOT WEARING ANY, LEXA.” Clarke yelled, almost loud enough for the camp to overhear her. “That line only works if I’m wearing clothing, which I am not. Besides, What are you trying to do? Go for round four?” She continued, in a normal tone of voice.

“Yes,” Lexa replied blatantly, as if it was extremely obvious. Clarke rolled her eyes and continued to dress herself.

“Why do swimming lessons, or any lessons for that matter, always turn into us...” Clarke was looking for the right word when Lexa interrupted her.

“If you do not wish to be intimate with me when we are completely alone then you do not need to, Clarke.” Lexa replied, back to her usual stoic facade.

“No, no, Lexa. That’s not what I meant at all. I was just wondering why it doesn’t happen more often back at camp. It’s not like no one knows we’re seeing each other.” Clarke replies, clipping her buckle on her jacket before stepping towards the already dressed Commander.

“Do you wish to keep the camp awake throughout the night, Clarke?” Lexa asks in a somewhat mocking tone.

“You have a good point there, Lexa,” Clarke replied as Lexa sheathed her sword, beginning to walk back towards camp with Clarke following closely behind.

 

* * *

 

“Hey Clarke?” Lexa asked from her seat on the bed of furs.

“Yes, Lexa?” Clarke replied, cautious of what was to come next.

“I seem to be lost, can I get directions to your heart?” Lexa asked, looking up at the blonde with her signature heart eyes.

“Stand up, walk over to the water basin, and look in the mirror. When you look into the mirror, you have reached your destination.” Clarke replied, laying down on the furs.

 

* * *

 

“Clarke, I lost my teddy bear. Can I sleep with you instead?” Lexa asked, sitting in her throne.

“Lexa, I already sleep with you every night. Don’t you kind of expect it by now?” Clarke asked.

“Yes, but it is always polite to ask before hand, Klark kom Skaikru,” Lexa replied standing up to place a chaste kiss upon Clarke’s forehead before venturing into their bedroom.

 

* * *

 

“Clarke, you look great and all, but do you know what would look better on you?” Lexa asked, slowly pushing Clarke up against the war table that resides in the middle of the commander’s tent.

“What would that be, Heda?” Clarke responded, swallowing hard.

“Me,” Lexa replied, leaning in for a kiss only to be met with Clarke’s laughter. “What do you find to be so humorous, Skaiprisa?” Lexa asked, confused.

“You always use the cheesiest pickup lines and still manage to woo me out of my pants,” Clarke replied, placing a kiss upon Lexa’s lips before bringing up her hands and placing them on her cheeks. She slowly broke away from the commander’s lips. “Now come on, we’ve got work to do.”

 

* * *

 

“Clarke, as long as I have a face, you’ll have a place to sit,” Lexa said, no louder than a whisper into the blonde’s ear.

“Well then lets hope your face doesn’t get blown off in some freak accident,” Clarke responded, placing a firm grip on Lexa’s hip and kissing her cheek before she walked out of the medical tent and out towards the group of skaikru who were gathered around the fire.

 

* * *

 

“You know, Clarke, your outfit looks nice, but it would look even nicer crumpled into a ball on the floor.” Lexa mumbled, looking directly into her skaiprisa’s eyes.

“You know, Heda, you either have a way with words, or Monty’s moonshine is getting the best of me, because I want nothing more than for that to actually be a thing,” Clarke slurred, looking over at Commander hearteyes with nothing but lust in her gaze.

“Will you two just get a room?” Reyes yells from across the fire.

“We have one, we’re just not using it at the moment. And, technically, since Lexa’s the commander of the twelve clans, every room is our room.” Clarke replies, sassier than she thought she was.

“Watch out, we’ve got a badass over here,” Jasper exclaims, throwing his hands in the air and falling back off of the wooden bench as he did so, the alcohol he previously consumed having immensely clouded his judgement.

“Clarke, what is this badass your people speak of. And where is this british-kru Octavia seems to be yelling about?” Lexa’s judgement was just as hindered by the moonshine as everyone else’s, yet she tried her hardest not to let it show.

“THE BRITISH ARE COMING, MAN YOUR STATIONS, BELL. THE BRITISH ARE COMING!!” Octavia exclaimed, flinging her signature red bra in the air as if it were a flag, like she had done many times before.

 

* * *

 


End file.
